Hey, let's just pretend
Back To The Past
Does the pain weigh out the pride? ♥
I really caused deep trouble....
Saturday, November 28, 2009 2:17 PM
Mr Cheng said every action have its own consequences.....
Maybe I alter it to every wrong doings have its retributions....
I want to argue back every time there is reply like this...
But do not have the courage to do so....
I know it is my fault...
I have never said it is you or who fault....
These have been going for 9 months and 28 days...
Are we really going to continue till next year......
I have been a lousy friend to you all....
Yes I do but am I so rotten that you have to swear me like you have never did....
I never treat you all as enemies...
I will not from now till next year.....
I know this is my problem as you all treat me as enemies every since the incident.....
Maybe what you said is right, I do not have any friends to start with...
When I wrong, I will stand to be corrected.....
I wish I can end my life seriously...
But you have said the word repeatedly which is coward...
Being a coward, I do not dare to do alot of things let alone commit suicide.....
I never type your name out as some may not know who you are...
I will never type out a person name out in my blog unless I feel there a need to do so...
I type Angelica name out as I know that is my fault and I admit it...
I really regret it.....
Can't I be given a chance?
Maybe to explain and just talk....
Every part of me is disgusting?
Ya I am disgusting that why people walk out from my life.....
I am a problematic child.....
I know using Zihao account to talk to you is lowlife method...
I never did it anymore...
As for Denson account, I did ask permission before I used it to talk to you...
I even ask him can I used it to talk to you and he said yes....
Asking you all to be like in the past is really an impossible thing...
But can't I be given a chance just to say a sorry.....
In this situations, I really dunno what to say..
Words said cant be taken back .....
And each time I utter a word, it is totally disastrous as it is never good...
I really wished I can let go all of this and move on....
Maybe being alone won't be a burden to anyone.....
No matter how I want join in the fun, I will restrain it to prevent my disgusting act to be seen...
I apologise...
Hope there is a day, we can be friends like how we used to be.....
Labels: The you refers to many people. It is not particularly one person...
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I really never expect it to be like this....
Friday, November 27, 2009 8:03 PM
Things are getting from bad to worse...
Thinking things will turn out good when times goes by..
In the end, it is worst when more truth are being discovered...
Family and friends instead of peace there is much more arguments than it used to be...
Does it really have to be like this?
I am truly oblivious to my actions...
I dunno which action is disgusting, shameless or whatever new terms have pop out for my actions...
I dunno....
Is saying a hi a disgusting action?
Must my friend say until like that....
I have never said anyone is against me....
I just said that whatever I do, no one seems to like it and it is a fact....
When for class gathering...
Said some nasty things to Angelica due to my mood...
Regret now also no used...
Totally being ignored.......
Another thing that made me really dunno what to say but feel totally crushed...
Two friends...
A (different class as me) type in its blog something I have done in "your class gathering"(lift form blog)....
B ( same class as me) reply the post in a tag by saying " Why are you putting "your class gathering"? Don't make it sound like he belong to us okay.."
I am really shocked and totally **** and mood less till now...
I have been scolded by new names too....
The names seems to be very interesting as you read on....
Sometimes I wish we can talk this stuff rather than cursing me right off your blog?
Actually I can roughly guess what the reply be when my "friend" read this...
Whenever this happens, I would surely pissed off some of my friends...
Den I become rude and stuff as my mood is not really that well..
But no one really cares though....
They just maybe make sure that my mood won't affect the promise I made which is contacting up someone....
So many people have ignored me...
The next step taken is end the friendship....
I seems to be a burden to everybody...
Everything unsuccessful must be me....
Now I don really know to find who to talk as almost everyone who I used to confide me have been chased away by me...
I brought all this upon myself....
Yet I still cant find any solutions for it....
I seriously do not have the courage to say or do anything.....
My mum say I am such a letdown to her...
My friends want me out of school or even better out of earth....
I wonder what will be the next words said to me....
Everybody seems to be advancing forward yet I am way back that no matter how fast I run..
I will never catch up with them..
Hais...
In the end, will end up drowning my own sorrows and wrong doings......
Labels: Am I really so bad?
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Reasons for hatred? Or Reasons for Retribution?
Sunday, November 22, 2009 10:38 PM
I dislike these facts. But I have to accept it . I do not like all this things to happen but I just cant do anything about it . I hope this could all change . Please ! Hais . my hope have been so long . I wish upon a wishing star. or maybe that wasnt a wishing star. I saw something fly across the pitch black sky . Which I am not sure what it really was..... Holding my hands together, thinking of what have been happening for the whole year and wish that it can be undone and everything will be back to what I wish for.....
10 year anniversary dinner has end and everything seems to be ok. Teacher is sastisfied with our performance..
Now I am in Denson house with Yongwen and WCY the great...Hais I also found out something about myself or rather how many people hate me and want me to get out of Woodgrove secondary school. That is so unexpected of the amount...I still don't understand what action I have done been so shameless and disgusting. Hais, I have lost a friend and almost lost another friend but luckily I manage to get that one back...
I have also get to know how does people think of me at the same time..It is negative stuff..
I have recive a small present from Angel when she is in Genting. It is so unexpected as no one has ever did that ( I mean for me ).
Now I know there is something that won't ever become what I wanted long ago as today sth have comfirm that. Chao Ya and I will never become friends again. I can't hold on to this hope again.. It doesnt seems to make any sense to me. I am always oblivious to the actions I made and in the end..... If only I am not so blur and slow upon actions or even have such low humour level, people wouldnt take my jokes as sarcasm.
If only I have sth that makes me stand out among the rest.
If only.....
10 year anniversary dinner has end and everything seems to be ok. Teacher is sastisfied with our performance..
Now I am in Denson house with Yongwen and WCY the great...Hais I also found out something about myself or rather how many people hate me and want me to get out of Woodgrove secondary school. That is so unexpected of the amount...I still don't understand what action I have done been so shameless and disgusting. Hais, I have lost a friend and almost lost another friend but luckily I manage to get that one back...
I have also get to know how does people think of me at the same time..It is negative stuff..
I have recive a small present from Angel when she is in Genting. It is so unexpected as no one has ever did that ( I mean for me ).
Now I know there is something that won't ever become what I wanted long ago as today sth have comfirm that. Chao Ya and I will never become friends again. I can't hold on to this hope again.. It doesnt seems to make any sense to me. I am always oblivious to the actions I made and in the end..... If only I am not so blur and slow upon actions or even have such low humour level, people wouldnt take my jokes as sarcasm.
If only I have sth that makes me stand out among the rest.
If only.....
Labels: Is this how it meant to be ?
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No confidence in moving on.......
Sunday, November 15, 2009 5:20 PM
The November is going to end soon in two weeks time..
Haven even manage all these study stuff and find a tuition teacher for maths..
Thinking a back of my results in the past is definitely better than the results I am currently holding on to...
I wouldn't know if I would be able to improve in my academics if I continue the way I am in sec 3..
Till now, I am still not sure by the meaning of moving on....
I don understand at all...
There is stuff that I have done which seems extremely childish..
I have never been so immature before...
I ended a friendship of mine..
Thinking that it would be better and test will she feel the way like how other friends leave her...
It is extremely stupid and immature action definitely....
Hais why am I lyke this....
The things in the past lyke what others said is like a learning memory...
Where we learn our mistakes and stuff and try to prevent it from happening again...
The joy that I see in everyone faces makes me feel confused and happy...
It always have the effect on me...
I am always oblivious and blur to what I have done...
People is mad at me and I do not know the cause of it...
Every time I want to achieve in something but it is never successful...
I do not really want this to be happening forever....
Every time whenever I walk past see people murmuring to each other...
I wondering are they talking something bad abt me...
The actions of my friends are able to make people laugh...
But the actions of mine is always find it disgusted and laugh as a stupid joke....
Sometimes courage do play a big part in our lives...
If there is no courage,you wouldn't dare to try and discover new things in life..
Wondering why the same words is being said by my friends can make people laugh..
But when I said the words, people will be giving me a sullen look..
I am always glad to offer help...
But know one will find me as they think I am not up to it or clumsy....
Or maybe I do not have the courage to approach the person to offer my help...
Thats why no one find me...
I am always dreaming about the future of what will actually happen to me...
I have never been given the respect maybe ppl think I don't deserve any respect...
I even get scolded by ppl who is younger than me.....
Or been given names based on my actions like ah kua?
Being a son, student and a senior have never been an area where I am successful...
Every where I go is being look down upon...
Hais...
Looking at the knowledge that my friends acquire makes me a nobody..
Every thing I learn is from them...
Every thing that I thought I am the first one to know will ended up learning that I am outdated...
I am now very sensitive to every words that my friends said..
I am so sensitive that whatever they say I will keep them in my heart...
And take it for real...
So ended up being a hot tempered and irritable person...
It no good at all...
Secrets are not meant to be told at all...
But now I wonder does secret will forever end up a secret...
Every secret that I know now ended up being known by everyone....
And ended up sometimes being blamed for these secret being known when I told no one abt it...
Hais I am bound to be blame and scolded forever?
AM I really a useless and a failure person?
Can I do something that make everyone happy and satisfied?
No one will really bother about me after all I am just a person can't be bothered.....
Labels: Please give me some attention...
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May I hold your hand?
Friday, November 13, 2009 3:12 PM
Two weeks booster program have ended just like any normal school days...
I have not benefit from any of it really except practice past maths question...
I am still as moody as always which I find it very disturbing even myself..
I get angry at anything which seems like a crazy person....
I have a very low emotional quotient it seems.....
I can't really control my emotions and feelings well....
When I can't control them, I will be giving attitude
Which many people dislike it very much...
A friend of mine message me a message...
It is not structured well but here is what the message says..
To me, it makes sense..
But I not those who have the courage to do it...
Will be continue these stupid emo post of mine tmr....
In Zi Hao house with Bryan and Zhi Hao.....
I have not benefit from any of it really except practice past maths question...
I am still as moody as always which I find it very disturbing even myself..
I get angry at anything which seems like a crazy person....
I have a very low emotional quotient it seems.....
I can't really control my emotions and feelings well....
When I can't control them, I will be giving attitude
Which many people dislike it very much...
A friend of mine message me a message...
It is not structured well but here is what the message says..
Kenny...
If when you wake up in the morning,
And the hurting is so great,
You don't want to get out of bed and
Face the world you hate
If everything in life goes wrong and
Nothing you do seems right,
You just try a little harder and
Soon you'll see the light
For every person who has put you down
And filled your life pain
You must strive to achieve greatness and
Show them you can win
For every disappointment,
For the times you are let down , there will be a
Better moment and your life will
Turn around
Because everyone feels heartache
And everyone feels pain' but only
Those who have the courage'
Can get up and stand again....
If when you wake up in the morning,
And the hurting is so great,
You don't want to get out of bed and
Face the world you hate
If everything in life goes wrong and
Nothing you do seems right,
You just try a little harder and
Soon you'll see the light
For every person who has put you down
And filled your life pain
You must strive to achieve greatness and
Show them you can win
For every disappointment,
For the times you are let down , there will be a
Better moment and your life will
Turn around
Because everyone feels heartache
And everyone feels pain' but only
Those who have the courage'
Can get up and stand again....
To me, it makes sense..
But I not those who have the courage to do it...
Will be continue these stupid emo post of mine tmr....
In Zi Hao house with Bryan and Zhi Hao.....
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Misfortunes or Unlucky ?
Sunday, November 8, 2009 6:13 PM
Sometimes life is like a plain white paper where you start to draw sth onto it..
You will draw sth nice and pleasant....
Then half way, you encounter some difficulties like no more ink or colour...
Or you draw wrongly.....
These mistakes or difficulties you encounter or made...
Can be change or amend like you take an eraser and erase it away..
Or buy a new poster colour and colour the piece of drawing..
But some mistakes when it is done you can't erase it away...
It seems to be permanent and will always be there for life......
I am very moody these few days....
Tend to get angry and sad very easily..
Not sure why is this happening...
Soon I maybe even labelled as crazy....
I sometimes want someone by my side...
Who listens to all my troubles and thoughts...
But all these is things that I can only dream but never get...
I am not so lucky like those who I am envious of..
They can get good grades.....
They are from wealthy family....
They are good in sports and music.....
And they are well- liked by others too......
Why cant some mistakes be forgiven or forgotten...
Why must it always be in the mind of theirs...
why....
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Scoldings and more scoldings.....
Saturday, November 7, 2009 8:17 PM
Class Of Elites (3e2' o9)I am not feeling really happy at all....
Things have happen and have proved I am more useless than usual...
I really feel very downcast and lonely.......
I cant hold the tears in me any longer.....
I look of thew the things I have done...
The reaction of my "friends" towards what I have done...
I seems to be a jinx or more than a jinx...
Everywhere I am nothing goes well at all....
People angry with me with the things I have done...
People hate me for being irritating...
People ain't happy with me around at all....
They find me untrustworthy too....
People look down on me wherever I go...
I am not good in anything and things that is good to be look upon....
Always been the center of jokes and been laughed upon...
Every single action I made is being treat as a big joke...
Every now and then seeing people who is happy or able to make people happy...
Make me extremely jealous...
Not zealous but jealous....
And the more I feel that I am a failure in everything...
I have been really sarcastic these few days especially to Hao Jun...
She must have hurt a lot....
Hais, so what I know how people feels...
I still did the action that hurt people....
I am sensitive thats why I think alot...
I mind what people says and think of me...
Thats why I maybe petty at times...
But no one can understand how I feels.....
Do I seems to be unlucky or I am bound to get scolded everyday...
At home scolded by mum for disobedience....
At school, being look down by teachers and get sarcastic upon...
At CO , every single thing I have done is wrong and hence get scolded again....
School days have ended long ago...
Sooner Abel and Dexter will be leaving from the class....
Which many people do not want that to happen...
They still think I should be the one retain instead of Abel...
Why am I so detestable by others...
Why..
It just never seems right to me...
Never.....
Labels: Trying to be happy but to no avail...(Will be missing the 2 guys..)
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No one seems to be happy about it....
Sunday, November 1, 2009 8:57 PM
Good and bad news this time to deliver....
I have been promoted to Sec 4 express...
As I have passed the criteria to be promoted which is English and two other subjects...
So I get to take my O Lvl next year...
Bad news is no one seems to be happy that I promoted to express...
Even the teacher dislike the fact that I am in express..
Mr Cheng says Abel is a better candidate than me...
How hurtful can that be when I hear it...
Even one of my classmates when she heard the news..
She says " Walao! Why you ? (Abel) Why not him? (Me) "
When I hear it, I totally didn't have the mood to really be joyful....
I keep on thinking does everyone have the same thought as her ?
It hurts me deeply...
I expect my class to dislike me..
But I didn't expect that they dislike me so badly which also include the teachers...
It really pains my heart...
I know I always sleep in class...
Thats why I don't deserve to be promoted to Sec 4 express...
My classmates keep on asking me why I nvr retain for the whole day..
It really seems that their wish for me is to retain and nvr promote....
I am being look down upon in my class...
Whatever bad things that happen it seems that I am the one who caused it...
Now Abel and Dexter have left the class....
Which should be me as I am not like them who can make the class laugh...
I seems to be a burden...
I cant makes things right...
But make them worse and worse....
I am not being trusted much also.....
I wonder next year will I really have no troubles and can concentrate on my studies...
I really wish I can manage all this....
I cant afford let go the "chance" that is "given" to me.....
Hais...
Liking a gal is hard...
Knowing that she has a stead or a friend of yours is liking her ...
It is always hard to like someone under this two situation...
As it seems you are flirting or snatching the girl away from the guy....
Why my troubles are never ending....
Why can't I just hack care what other people say about me....
Why.....
Labels: Please drag me out from all the situations that I landed myself in...
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A Story Of A Little Bear Who Wanted Friends
Sunday, October 25, 2009 9:18 PM
Once there was a little Sugar Bear who was lonely...
He always cry whenever he thinks how lonely he were..
"I have to stop", he says..
"Perhaps someone else needs a friend. I'm going to find out." he says..
And off he went..
He found a few animals like bluebirds, fox and beavers..
He went to help them but being as clumsy as he is..
He created more trouble for them...
He was sad and felt even more alone than before...
He saw a grasshopper...
He reach out a paw to grab it..
The grasshopper hop away...
"Come back." he called,"I want to talk to you."
He walk alone, trying hard to hold back his tears...
Then he saw a swan swimming on the water with all her little ones...
They swam so daintily and looked so beautiful ,
that Sugar Bear longed to have them come and talk to him..
He did not dare to call to them fro fear that they might be scared,
By his gruff voice and his clumsy ways...
Finally he realized that the big white swan had no intention
Of bringing her lovely babies out of water while he stood there watching them;
And reluctantly he turned away....
He always thought the animals he saw need help..
But in the end the animals thought Sugar Bear is trying to show off and destroy their things...
Sugar Bears get stung by bees for accidentally destroying their hives..
When Sugar Bear thought they have difficulty in getting into their house...
Sugar Bear thought, "Everything I do, I do wrong. I'll never have any friends."
He was very unhappy indeed..
He thought of all the disappointments he had that day..
The bites and stings and insults..
The tears ran faster and faster down it cheek when he thought of it...
Poor, poor, poor Sugar Bear!
He was in such a sad state that he might have cried all day if a soft voice had not said to him,
"Why are you crying, little bear? Is there something I can do to help you?"
These were the words he had been saying all day..
"Is there something I can help you?"
Sugar Bear wiped his eyes and his smile came out like a spring sunshine after rain...
This was the prettiest little creature he had ever seen.
It was a little bear, and a little girl bear at that!
She was just as glad to see him as he was to see her.
They took hold of each other's paws and, side by side, they ran off to play in the woods..
Once there was a little Sugar Bear who did not have any friends...
He was so lonely that he almost cried..
Now there is a little girl bear who plays with him..
Sugar Bear will never, never be lonely again....
This story is given to me by my aunt when I was 5..
It clearly reflects the situation I am in now..
But will I ever find a companion like Sugar Bear?
Labels: I cant stop reading this stroy and cry along with it ....
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How useless and hopeless I can be.....
Saturday, October 24, 2009 8:38 PM
Happy Birthday Nasrulhaq !!!!
Lots of problems and troubles that I have created by myself...
Sometimes I am thinking how immature I can get...
Which must be one of the key links to all my troubles...
At school...
My academics have been dropping...
Drastically that it is faster than the speed of a bullet....
In my class, I seems to be a totally irritable person....
Sometimes when I am not in class,
I think that my friends must be thinking how peaceful it is...
Whatever I say and do in class is dislike by my classmates in all ways...
Some dislike me to the core while some find me irritable...
I always says the wrong things at the wrong time....
When there is times I am suppose to be serious, I joked around...
When people is relaxing, I tend to be serious....
What wrong is with me?
At home, there will always be a scolding from my family members...
Spoil every single thing in my house...
How careless I can be...
Thought of being a good mummy boy but in the end make her angrier....
Every time I try to make things right....
It only get worst....
I start to feel even more useless after all this...
I cant seem to be successful something...
I seems to be disappointing every people in my life..
What they expect me to achieve yet I can't do it for them....
Like my mum...
I have been disappointing her countless of times..
Looking at how talented or popular my friends or other people are..
It make me totally zealous...
It always have the effect on me...
Looking at the things they have done or achieved.....
Bryan, he can play piano well...
Juztin, a popular guy in my school..( For me)
Ying Ying , a smart girl who has been scoring top in my school every year...
Zi Hao, good leadership qualities....
There's still many people that I admire....
I don't seems to fit in with every group that I hang out with...
I always seems to be left out in every conversation they have...
I just felt hopeless...
Have been thinking how my life will change once I am in Malaysia studying....
It will sure be a drastic change...
If only I can leave my memories behind and not bringing it with me...
I really hope to be given a chance...
Just a chance....
Labels: I just don't bear to leave my friends (thinking if I really have one)
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I hate this world.....
Friday, October 23, 2009 8:40 PM
I am so confused....
I really dunno whats the outcome of my exams...
It is a super duper high chance in dropping to normal academic...
Once in normal academic, its a Good Bye to my friends...
Some may have prayed so that I won be studying at Woodgrove anymore...
They might be celebrating in their hearts when I left for good...
I really regret but so what if I regret..
Time can't rewind for the sake of one person only...
I want to talk badly with someone now...
I am not sure why...
I am really confused by my actions and feelings these days....
I can't cheer up at all...
I hope the person will online ....
Someone please show me the way......
I try to please my friends but it is not working...
I really get jealous very easily it seems.....
I can't really enjoy everything now....
Only if I get into express, I really can enjoy and clear my mind on what to do next....
If I drop, I will leading a moody life thats for sure...
Theres still lots of things I want to do in Singapore...
Words thats I want to say to some particular friends.....
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Is noticing one faults that hard.....
Saturday, October 17, 2009 9:02 PM
I am troubled by my own attitude and my ways of thoughts.....
When you have discovered something that you have done has causes someone to hate you...
It is too late to make anymore amendments...
I find it hard to notice my own faults and actions....
My attitude is seriously bringing me down....
I am broken into pieces and hard to find myself again...
Why can't I have things my way....
I just can,t stop interfering into other people problems....
Whenever a person ask a question I will continue it with a why...
I wonder how many friends I be with is irritated by me because of my endless questions...
Exams are over yet I am still so stressed and depressed...
Why can't I see the bright side of things...
I really hope to find a companion who can answer and tolerate all my questions.....
When will the misunderstandings ends...
I been scolded a fucking guy in her blog again...
Did I offend her in any way???
Sometimes I notice my faults, yet I dunno what to do about it....
I am so stubborn...
Instead of giving people joy like what I hope for..
In the end I give people sorrow...
I want to be a child...
I don want to grow up....
I can run and play, laughing happily and without troubles...
I can't handle on my own.....
I always in my dreamland where everyone is happy...
Everyone does not have troubles and when they fall they have their friends for support..
A crime-free and peaceful world...
But will that ever happen?
If time can rewind to January, I will amend my mistakes and take care of my attitude...
But it is an impossible dream...
Why humans tend to be regretful after the things they have done...
No one is perfect.....
What can I do now....
Can someone answer to my questions.....
Please.....
Labels: Isit really the end for me?
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If only there is such thing as time travelling....
Sunday, September 27, 2009 6:07 PM
Looking aback, thinking how things can really turn out if have not done that decision....
Watching 17 again, seems to have the urge that my wish for the past to be back is even greater...
But for me the title of it will not be the age...
It will be titled January again...
Wondering for a long time,
What I have been doing all these years....
What I really want all these years...
Have I really succeeded what I want?
I am trying to impress everybody...
Trying to get attention....
But it seems the wrong way.....
In the end, I get scolded for being irritating or shameless....
It is almost like Flik, an ant in Bugs Story...
He is trying to impress everyone with his inventions especially Princess Atta....
In the end, he really succeeded in impressing them when he found a way to get rid of the cockroaches..
But the ending of Flik and me is never the same...
I have always keep on thinking,
Why they are able to do that while I cant...
It take me long enough to realize that I am a failure for everything....
I cant be as popular as Juztin or as smart as YingYing.....
Another story from Lilo and Stitch...
Lilo have always been regarded by her friends as a crazy person because of her weird ways..
Lilo seems want a person to understand her...
To be cared and loved as she said she has a broken family....
Lilo have a wish...
She said quietly at the day she went away from school...
"I need someone to be my friend, someone who won't run away"
"Maybe send me an angel...the nicest angel you have"...
All these stories, I have read..
There's a deep storyline behind it....
Maybe I have what Lilo wished for...
Just that I never appreciate it and let it go....
Retribution comes without a word..
You will never know when it will really go away....
I really do wished for a day...
Where my wishes will come true even for a single day.....
Labels: Will it ever happen??
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Have I ever make the right choices in life?
Saturday, September 26, 2009 4:19 PM
There's always a point of time where we need to make choices and decisions...
Have you ever pause to think whether is your decision or choice is right?
For me, I think that I have make wrong decisions and choices and wrong timing too...
Life is indeed harsh for me now...
Studies always comes first...
But at the rate I am, how far can I go...
Ms Ong words almost makes me cry which I dunno why...
Cry easily like a baby...
Hais....
I am worried over everything...
How I wished I am a malay...
Can seeks for forgiveness and be forgiven....
But it is still an impossible dream....
Maybelle words have been the same for the past few days....
Forget the past and move on...
But to me I find it hard to do that...
Every song, every action I have done...
I remember the past as clear as it was.....
The past of my family, friends and everything....
Afifah have given me a few advice...
I am still too stubborn to accept it even though I know what she said makes sense...
Thinking of what will happen if I have done so and so....
But so what I have know what to do now...
I can't change the fact that it is not there anymore....
Why I still find it hard to let go after all these months...
No matter what, now I have to put all these aside..
And focus on my studies..
End of Year is coming nearer and my preparation is not enough yet...
After this is over...
All these problems I hope I can solve it once and for all....
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Attitude and Character seems to be essential
Sunday, September 20, 2009 5:51 PM
Life sometimes we do not know what will happen next....
We always thinks we are sufferin from it and think we are pathetic...
Who do not think so when they are sad.....
Hais
I just notice there is some people out there seems to be more unfortunate than me.
But they still able to live their life happily ( I think so)....
My life doesnt hav much more wonderful memories to be kept....
My attitude or character is the one controling my life ......
No matter how good I am trying to be...
No one will forget what I have done and still hate me for it...
My attitude or my way of thoughts have been hurting myself and making people angry with it....
I seriously do not know where to change...
This few days, I have been showing attitude to Angelica...
I am angry over just a few words that she said....
A petty guy I am, it seems to be..
The anger in me still haven subsided till now.....
Tuesday, teacher go through a series of problems .....
Every problems Mr Cheng mention....
I am so scared that I have every one of them except for the smoking part....
Do I really need to seek a doctor ???
I am so afraid...
I am scared of all these thats happening to me...
My studies, my friends and my problems troubling me alot...
I am stubborn or isit my pride thats making me in this state....
I really wanna go and tell Angelica that I amk sorry....
But whenever I think about the sentence, I will feel angry again...
But I think of the day she gave me the present, I wan to say sorry to her....
It is really confusing and frustrsting .....
My problems never sems to end...
I wan to talk find a solution to all this but I can't......
Everyone have troubles and everyone is tired of it...
Why can't all these troubles be gone....
And be like children who can laugh happily without troubles.....
Why....
We always thinks we are sufferin from it and think we are pathetic...
Who do not think so when they are sad.....
Hais
I just notice there is some people out there seems to be more unfortunate than me.
But they still able to live their life happily ( I think so)....
My life doesnt hav much more wonderful memories to be kept....
My attitude or character is the one controling my life ......
No matter how good I am trying to be...
No one will forget what I have done and still hate me for it...
My attitude or my way of thoughts have been hurting myself and making people angry with it....
I seriously do not know where to change...
This few days, I have been showing attitude to Angelica...
I am angry over just a few words that she said....
A petty guy I am, it seems to be..
The anger in me still haven subsided till now.....
Tuesday, teacher go through a series of problems .....
Every problems Mr Cheng mention....
I am so scared that I have every one of them except for the smoking part....
Do I really need to seek a doctor ???
I am so afraid...
I am scared of all these thats happening to me...
My studies, my friends and my problems troubling me alot...
I am stubborn or isit my pride thats making me in this state....
I really wanna go and tell Angelica that I amk sorry....
But whenever I think about the sentence, I will feel angry again...
But I think of the day she gave me the present, I wan to say sorry to her....
It is really confusing and frustrsting .....
My problems never sems to end...
I wan to talk find a solution to all this but I can't......
Everyone have troubles and everyone is tired of it...
Why can't all these troubles be gone....
And be like children who can laugh happily without troubles.....
Why....
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Predict the future will be the best for me...
Saturday, September 12, 2009 11:25 PM
Is comment really important...
Different readers have different thoughts...
Some find it disgusting while some find it .... I dunno?
Its really make me frustrated when people cant keep the comments to themselves...
It is also annoying they spread the comments to others....
I dunno...
I used to give alot of comments...
Maybe untill now I still do..
But now feeling it is really a frustrating thing to be done..
I am really trying to change this habit of mine...
When people hate a person, they really hate them to the core...
When people like a person, they won;t be so nasty towards them....
Hais...
This is MY blog, I am free to type DISGUSTING, EMOTIONAL and GROSS things..
If readers, you all cant stand it , you can close the window...
Please do not leave impolite comments.....
I know that when I post this type of post(Or the previous post)....
Sooner or later I will be receiving some comments....
By some particular people.....
Labels: I know when I post this type of post, sooner or later this type of comments will pop out...
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Hello. I am a human and I'm turning older by 07 March. I love and hate everything. Do you?
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